a wrong e-mail id

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so hedecided to send an e-mail to his wife.However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and withoutrealizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile... Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returnedfromher husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail,expectingcondolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushedinto the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computerscreen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached

Date: 23 July 2009

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They gave computershere, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.I've just reached and have been checked in.I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!!

Cheers !!!

Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities. Applications such as Bachelor Nights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks, "A Troubled User"

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) .

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck, Tech Support ...

sardar returns part-3

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

Sardar declares:.... . . I will never marry in my life &. . ... . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . ..
A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran awaySardar ran to catch the donkey.He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhokade raha hai'.

Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300mlnow it's 2 ltr.

Santa went to Mysore palace.Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chairSanta - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..

Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab,He wanted to save money so what did he do?Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call..

One tourist from U.S.A.asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!

Teacher: A for?Sardar: AppleTeacher: Jor se bolo?Sardar: Jay mata di.

2 sardars were fighting after exam.Sir: Y r u fighting?1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,Sir: So what?1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we bothcopied.

Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.Sardar 2: You R nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sentmy wife with him.

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, andsays, "chal", it walks.He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.He cuts all the legs and said, "chal....." Finally he wrote theconclusion............ "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......

A scene from Kohn Benega Crorepati....Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows?Sardar : Liquid state.....Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......

Boss: Where were you born?Sardar: India ...Boss: which part?Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car. Sardar 1: What would you do if the bombexplodes while fixing. Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Sardar: U cheated me.Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio!

'NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup....

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

letter to a father

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroomwas astonished to see the bed was nicely made andEverything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelopepropped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. Itwas addressed "Dad".

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope andread the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writingyou, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my newboyfriend Saim because I wanted to avoid a scene withMom and you.I've been finding real passion with Saim and he is sonice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like himtoo - even with all his piercing, tattoos, andmotorcycle clothes.But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant andSaim said that he wants me to have the kid and that wecan be very happy together. Even though Saim is mucholder than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days isit?), and has no money, really these things shouldn'ttand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?Saim has a great CD collection; he already owns atrailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood forthe whole winter.It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I knowhe'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants tohave many more children with me and that's now one ofmy dreams too.Saim taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurtanyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll tradeit with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy wewant. In the meantime, we'll pray that science willfind a cure for AIDS so Saim can get better; he suredeserves it!!Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know howto take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be backto visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet,and read:PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at theneighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report cardthat's in my desk centre drawer.Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to comehome.

I love you!Thanks and regards

An Old Monkey Story With A New Ending

It's an old story that we read in Class 3 but with a new ending.

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap underone ofthe trees,so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he wokeup and realized that all his hats were gone.He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys andthey hadtaken all his hats..The hat seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, themonkeyswere doing the same.

Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. Anideacame to his mind*He took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, Sukhwinder, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. Itwasvery hot, and he took a nap under thesame tree and left the hats on the floor.He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys onthetree.He remembered his grandfather' s words, started scratching his head andthemonkeys followed.

He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeysfollowed.Now, very convinced of his grandfather' s idea, Sukhwinder threw hishat onthe floor but to his surprise,the monkeys still held on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor,gavehim a slap andGuess!!! Said what???************ **************** *..***********. .*********..*************..****.*****.*.*.....

"You think only you have a grandfather !!!???"

i believe

> I believe -
> . . . that just because two people argue, it
> doesn't mean they don't love each other.
> And just because they don't argue, it doesn't
> mean they do.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that we don't have to change friends if we
> understand that friends change.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that no matter how good a friend is, they're
> going to hurt you every once in a while and you
> must forgive them for that.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that true friendship continues to grow, even
> over the longest distance. Same goes for true
> Love.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that you can do something in an instant that
> will give you heartache for life.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that it's taking me a long time to become
> the person I want to be.
>
>
> I believe -
> . . . that you should always leave loved ones with
> loving words. It may be the last time you see
> them.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that you can keep going long after you think
> you can't.
>
> I believe -
> . . . That we are responsible for what we do, no
> matter how we feel.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that either you control your attitude or it
> controls you.
>
> I believe -
> . . that heroes are the people who do what has
> to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of
> the consequences.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that my best friend and I can do anything or
> nothing and have the best time.
>
>
> I believe -
> . . . that sometimes the people you expect to kick
> you when you're down, will be the ones to help you
> get back up.
>
>
> I believe -
> . . . that sometimes when I'm angry I have the
> right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the
> right to be cruel.
>
>
> I believe -
> . . . that maturity has more to do with what types
> of
> experiences you've had and what you've learned
> from them and less to do with how many birthdays
> you've celebrated.
>
>
> I believe -
> . . . that it isn't always enough to be forgiven
> by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive
> yourself.
>
>
> I believe -
> . . . that no matter how bad your heart is broken
> the world doesn't stop for your grief.
>
>
> I believe -
> . . . that our background and circumstances may
> have influenced who we are, but we are responsible
> for who we become.
>
>
> I believe -
> . . . that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a
> secret. It could change your life
> forever.
>
> I believe -
> . . . two people can look at the exact same thing
> and see something totally different.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that your life can be changed in a matter of
> hours by people who don't even know you.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that even when you think you have no more to
> give, when a friend cries out to you - you will
> find the strength to help.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that credentials on the wall do not make you
> a decent human being.
>
> I believe -
> . . . that the people you care about most in life
> are taken from you too soon.

S/W Engineer n his soft storey

Once a Smart Software Engineer and his Project Manager were traveling towards Ooty in a train. Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.

With in some time, Eye to Eye interactions started between our engineer & that girl. After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark. Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.. Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel. Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy." PM thought that,"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake" That girl thought that,"I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him". Finally, do u know what our clever Design engineer thought?
Think. . . . . . . . . .

“This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes...because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM."

BUTT ICONS

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,'

where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by :-) and :-(

Well, how about some ' BUTT ICONS?'

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

icici bank-

Rajiv and Tina are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!" Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Tina, did we pay our Rs 5 lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?" "No, sweetheart," she responds. Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Tina, did we pay our ICICI Bank Master card yet?" "Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says. "One last thing, Tina, Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?" he asks. "Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Tina. "I didn't send that one, either."

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Tina pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you kiss me?" Rajiv answers, " They'll find us !"

THE SHOPPER- ultimate

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She found the most perfect shoes in the first shop, and a beautiful dress in the second. She had just entered the third shop where everything had just been reduced fifty percent when her mobile phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to tell her husband that she'd be there as soon as possible. When she hung up, she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever shopping in these boutiques, so she decided to just look in two or three more before heading to the hospital.

Anyhow, she ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital.

She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself shopping, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it's likely be the last shopping trip you will ever make! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your responsibility!"

The woman felt so guilty she broke down and cried and cried.

The lady doctor then laughed and said, "I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. Show me what you bought.

India shining.. JAY HO... :)

An Indian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to
India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys
to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer
agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against
a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.The loan officer says, "Sir,
we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother
to borrow "$5,000"
The Indian replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there
when I return'"
Ah, the mind of the Indian...//This is why India is shining...

a cool forum topic

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to
ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York CityGarden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

Awesome reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me...
signed,

CEO J.P. Morgan

and... God finally created the man

GOD created the DONKEY and told him, 'You will work tireless from sunrise up to sunset, carrying heavy bags on your back, you will eat grass. You will not have intelligence and you will live 50 years. You will be a DONKEY!'
The DONKEY answered, 'I will be a DONKEY, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years!' and GOD gave him 20 years.
GOD created DOG and told him ' You will look after man's house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give you and you will live 25years, You will be a DOG!'
The DOG answered 'GOD, living 25 years is too much, give only 10 years!' and GOD gave him 10 years.
GOD created the MONKEY and told him, 'you will jump from branch to branch you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years, you will be a MONKEY!'
The MONKEY answered ' GOD, living 20 years is too much , give me only 10 years!' and GOD gave him 10 years.
Finally,
GOD created MAN and told him, 'you will be a MAN the only rational being on this earth and you will use your intelligence to control other animals, you will dominate the world and you will live for 20 years.
The MAN answered, GOD I will be a man but living 20 years is not enough, why don't you give me the 30 years that the DONKEY refused, the 15 years that the DOG didn't want and the 10 years that the MONKEY refused ?'
That was exactly what GOD did, and since then:
MAN lives 20 years like a MAN, then he gets married and spends 30 years like a DONKEY, working and carrying the load on his back. Then, when his children leave he spends 15 years like DOG looking after the house and eating whatever is given to him. Then he gets old, retires and spends 10 years like a MONKEY, jumping from house to house or from children to children, doing silly things to amuse his grandchildren

sardar returns-part1

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Doctor to patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?Patient: Yes. A good doctor.

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.U know why?Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill statusSardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled y?When asked him, he said,"Oye, that's for those who don't know Swimming.

Wife-Oye ji, Sunte Ho,Utho Utho,Raat ke 2 baje he.Husband- itni rat ko Q...Uthaya MujheWife-Aap neend ki goli Lena to bhul Hi gaye..!

Santa : "Ek litre Gaaye Ka Dhoodh Dena."Banta : "Lekin Tumhara Bartan To Bahut Chhota Hai."Santa :"Theek He To Fir BAKRI Ka De de.."

Santa- Meine shadi isliye ki, kyunki me Kapde aur Bartan dho dhoke thak gaya tha.Banta- Ajeeb baat hai, maine isi wajah se "divorce" liya..

Interviewer>To bataiye PANI ke bina Insan kaise Marega?Sardar>PANI nai hoga to Insan Tairega kaise? Aur Tairega nahi to doob jayega!

SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahiSON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon

Shopkeeper: "ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab"Sardar : "Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE!!"

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love
U sister...

Ek sardar Indian Flag lene shop mein gaya tha. Shopwale ne usse flag diya. Sardar bola: Isme
aur colour dikhao!!!

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..Friend: How do u know?Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?Sardar: ZEBRATeacher: How?Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?Teacher: Me? No, why?Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- "1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Question: "Should Women have Children after 35?"Smart Sardar Replied: "No!35 Children R More than Enough!!"

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.Manager: Do U know MS Office?Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "Air hostess said: "B silent."Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:"I MISS YOU"Sardarji replied:"I Mr YOU" !!.

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a keyDoctor: When?Sardar: 3 Months AgoDr:Wat were u doing till now?Sardar: We were using duplicate key

Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office....

Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se
CALCULATOR le ke Aa..

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice. He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue &
Ears By Torch &Finallly Said:"Torch is okay"

Sardar1: Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?Sardar2: Nothing, we must watch TV in candle light.

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

European English:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'.

This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm .

in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'.. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

somthing about EGO..

There was once a scientist. After a lot of practice & efforts, he developed a formula & learned the art of reproducing himself. He did it so perfectly that it was impossible to tell the reproduction from the original.
One day while doing his research, he realized that the Angel of Death was searching for him. In order to remain alive he reproduced a dozen copies of himself. The reproduction was so similar that all of them looked exactly like him.
Now when this Angel of Death came down, he was at a loss to know which of the thirteen before him was the original scientist, & confused, he left them all alone & returned back to heaven.
But, not for long, for being an expert in human nature, the Angel came up with a clever idea. He said to the scientist addressing all thirteen of them, "Sir, you must be a genius to have succeeded in making such perfect reproduction formula of yourself. However, I have discovered a flaw in your work, just one tiny little flaw."
The scientist immediately jumped out & shouted,
"Impossible! where is the flaw?"
"Right here" said the Angel, as he picked up the scientist from among the reproductions & carried him off.
The whole purpose of the scientist & his formula of reproduction failed as he could not control his pride, so he lost his life. So when man's Knowledge & Skills takes him to the top of the ladder & makes him successful, the three letter word "EGO" can pull him down to earth immediately at double speed.