innocence at its best

Two little boys, aged 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,"Where is God?!"Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "Boss we are in BIG trouble this time." ("I just LOVE reading next line again and again")........... ...... ... ... .......... "GOD is missing, and they think we did it!”

family

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is
told,How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down."Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,common courtesy you use,but the
family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.He picked them himself: pink, yellow and
blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you
picked for me?"He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.I love you anyway."
I said,
"Son, I love you too,and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILYAre you aware that if we died tomorrow, the companythat we are working for could easily replace us ina matter of days.But the family we left behind will feel the lossfor the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves moreinto work than into our own family,an unwise investment indeed,don't you think?So what is behind the story?
What the word FAMILY means:FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

womanwali baat

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grantyou three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thankyou, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The womansaid, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the mostbeautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realisethat this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man inthe world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied,"That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and hewill have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Womanin the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman inthe world.The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in theworld.And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That'sokay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frogthen inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mildheart attack."Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stophere and continue feeling good.Male readers: Please scroll down.......................................
.................The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're reallysmart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to showthatwomen never listen!!!

hindi microsoft

Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft
Khidki = Window
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Chaara = Options
Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name
Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort, retry,fail
chhavo = Tile
Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Chipkao = Paste
Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special
Mitao = Delete
Kagaz Uper = Page Up
Kagaz Neeche = Page Down
Anth = End
Saaf karo = Clear
Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All
Makan = Home
Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock
Hathiyaar = Tools
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Chooha = Mouse
Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar,Udhar-se-Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar
Pardha = Screen
Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver
Krimi = Virus
Tika = Anti Virus
Karo = Do
Galthi = Error
Ghusao = Insert
Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before
Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between
Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After
Chabi Phalak = Key board
Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad
Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster
Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet
Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box
Chale? = Exit?

moral of the storey-3

There once was a little boy who had a badtemper. His Father gave him a bag of nailsand told him that every time he lost histemper, he must hammer a nail into the backof the fence. The first day the boy haddriven 37 nails into the fence. Over the nextfew weeks, as he learned to control hisanger, the number of nails hammered dailygradually dwindled down. He discoveredit was easier to hold his temper than todrive those nails into the fence.Finally the day came when the boy didn'tlose his temper at all. He told his fatherabout it and the father suggested that theboy now pull out one nail for each day thathe was able to hold his temper.The days passed and the young boy was finallyable to tell his father that all the nailswere gone. The father took his son by thehand and led him to the fence. He said, "Youhave done well, my son, but look at theholes in the fence. The fence will never bethe same. When you say things in anger,they leave a scar just like this one. Youcan put a knife in a man and draw it out.It won't matter how many times you say I'msorry, the wound is still there. " A verbalwound is as bad as a physical one.Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. Theymake you smile and encourage you to succeed.They lend an ear, they share words of praiseand they always want to open their hearts to us."

better friends

Men always have better friends....They will stand by you, no matter what....!!!

Friends of Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her (girl) friend's apartment overnight. So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and none of them confirm that she was with them.

Friends of Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are claiming that he is still with them!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

indo-pak war

During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 45 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would d be on their way. Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between India and Pakistan.

This was their scenario.................
The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns. Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution. But they need permission from the Government of India. They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned indefinitely. The President asks for a quick decision.
In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a re-launch are still on. Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed. The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand. A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission. The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.
Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM. Fortunately there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early. In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight.
The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA. The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties agree.
Its three months since the army had sought permission. But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos organised. In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".
On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan. Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes. A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits it original destination: Russia. Russians successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad. The missile hits the target and creates havoc. Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.
Thus India never gets to launch the missile. Pakistan never gets it right.
And we live happily ever after!!!!