some definations

Philosopher:A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

Diplomat:A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

Opportunist:A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

Optimist:A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet

Pessimist:A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

Miser:A person who lives poor so that he can die rich

Father:A banker provided by nature

Criminal:A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught

Boss:Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

Politician:One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after

Doctor:A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other

Love affairs:Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test

Marriage:It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce:Future tense of marriage

Lecture:An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either

Conference:The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise:The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Tears:The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower

Dictionary:A place where divorce comes before marriage

Conference Room:A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on

Ecstasy:A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

Classic:A book which people praise, but do not read

Smile:A curve that can set a lot of things straight

Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

Yawn:The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth

Etc:A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

Experience:The name men give to their mistakes

Atom Bomb:An invention to end all inventions