Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
2) A Kid asks the Priest : Father what is your Favourite Pastime...?
The Priest pats the kids head & replys : NUN My Child NUN....!!
3 Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College,
Banta : Really, what is he studing,
Santa : No is not studying, they r Studying him.
4 Santa Banta ko 3 live bomb mile, Police ko dene chale,
Santa: agar koi bomb raste mai Phat jaye to..?
Banta : Jhooth bol denge 2 hi mile the...!!!
5) Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators
6) Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
7) Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job? S
anta: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where..]
8) Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain
9) Santa: Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon.
Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai.
Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5 rupye leti hai.
10) Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other.
Santa singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta singh : Yes, I have Santa singh : Well, my father dug it.
Banta singh : Thats nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?
Santa singh : Yes, I have. Banta singh : Well, my father killed it.
11) SANTA talking on cell.
BANTA: kis se baat kar raho ho.
SANTA: biwi se.....
BANTA: itne... pyar se....?
SANTA: tumhari hai. . .
12) SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.
2.Weakness:Banta' s wife,Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat:When I am on tour
13) SANTA: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300mlnow it's 1.5 ltr.
14) Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta higya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....
15) Santa went to mysore palace.
Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!.
16) SANTA enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saabâ?o
SANTA : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.
17) SANTA orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
SANTA: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge
18) Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
what is your birth date? Sardar: 13th October Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
Manager asked to sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 15 letters in it? Sardar replied: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why? Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar:
Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office
A woman had 8 sons all named Kevin.
On asking how she managed to callone in particular
She replied: That's easy. I call them by their surname
koi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijlichamki, badal garje, jor sebaarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola:
Lagta hai pahunch gai
How do you fit 30 marwadis in a Maruti 800 ?
Throw a 100 rupee note inside
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus : " Send me a brother "
Santa wrote back : " Send me your mother
Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox.
Sees inside and closesit.Wife observes the whole episode Agai n he comes and does the same stuff.
Wife askes Why! are you doingthis?Sardar replies: Doc told to check sugar level regularly
Angry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga- mitadunga.
Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga
Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office
Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently,
lady says," break nahi mar saktathakya?
Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di
Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udharchalte the, woh kya soch rahehonge....think............."SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI
Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte
A friend asks sardar how was urexam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt! answer past tense of THINK.I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.
Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaazsunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?Sardar: Phone karte waqt
Sardar jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek sardar jhad se ulta latak kegaanelaga, dusre ne pucha ki ulta kyon latka he, Sardar bola oye side B gaarahahun
Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give mearing?" "Sure" replies santa. "Whats urphone no?"
When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar
shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.
Interviewer: just imagine you are in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape? Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
Teacher : santa, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Santa : You told me to do it without using tables.
An essay on a cricket match-- A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except our Santaji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Biwi ko padhaunga-- Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.
Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo
Cigarette-- santa apne father k samne cigrate pi raha tha
Logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho?
Santa bola : Wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi.
Santa fell out-- Q: Why did Santa fall out the window ?
A: He was ironing the curtain
Brake fail-- Santa : O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?
Biwi : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.
Fighting --santa banta were fighting after exam. Sir: Y r u fighting?
santa : This fool left the answer sheet blank, Sir: So what?
santa: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
The Plane Ride Santa traveling 1st time in plane going to BOMBAY, while landing, he shouted : "BOMBAY-BOMBAY",
air hostess : " B-silent please ", santa said : " OMBAY - OMBAY.....!!!!!!!! "
In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer tio mein kutton ko daal doon. Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho? Santa: Ji aap hi NE bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade? Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein dus ve number pe tha
Jeeto: Dekho who admi mujhe ghoor-ghoor ke dekh raha hai. Santa: Who to kabadia hai, raddi pe nazar rakhna uski aadat hai
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga. Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey? Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai? Santa: Oye tenuh he vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you! Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo Maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Santa: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar NE poocha: Upar kyon aaya? Banta: Apple khane. Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai. Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
Santa: What's difference between man & Superman? Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery. The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du? Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu at nahi hai ji, tainu hai at lipat ja...
At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe NE? Boy: Goal karan lai. Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.
Sardar and Home Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to? Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun
Sardar and prayerA sardar prays daily for 2 hours,"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"
Two Sardars 1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye
Sardar and Practical ExamIn bio practical:Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?Sardar: I don't know.Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?Sardar: See my legs & tell my name
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